By BARBARA and JACO ten HOVE
One of the many stirring messages of the recent film “Milk” is how the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California, Harvey Milk, in the late 1970s urged his brothers and sisters to come out of the closet so that more people would realize that they already actually knew gay people.
Yes, it was dangerous, as his murder certainly proved, but he was confident that when you put a face on an issue like this, it is much harder to deny the rights of someone you know to be a fine person.
Subtle and not-so-subtle chapters in our American history give ample evidence of the struggles for human equality, both under the law and in the hearts of others.
A distressing litany can describe the often incremental and painful movement by which some groups of people have been “granted” their human rights, usually with a measure of legal protection included.
But eventually, it seems, concerted opinion concludes that it was a shame it didn’t happen sooner.
Such will be the case, we feel, with the rights of sexual minorities – and we speak here of the human essence of being that is expressed by one’s gender orientation, which is a complex factor but not subject to mere choice.
Throughout history, not everyone everywhere has been purely heterosexual, and in fact, in some cultures, those who located themselves on different places of the gender continuum have been especially honored for their perspective.
Would that this were more the case in 21st century America, for we know the gifts and wisdom of many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, and we believe that our culture needs them now more than ever. But even still they must disguise and shield their true natures from much of the unaccepting world.
Our liberal religious movement, Unitarian Universalism, has been officially welcoming since 1970, when we passed the first of numerous general resolutions in support of gay rights, etc.
Today our congregations flourish thanks to many leaders and clergy who would be – and are shunned or at best restricted in many other religious settings because of their gender orientation.
It is increasingly inconceivable to us why some of our friends, relatives and neighbors are rejected and endangered in this land of freedom.
Like all of us imperfect humans, they deserve to have a religious home that honors them for who they are and all they can be, in a community that eagerly invites them to make contributions toward the Greater Good.
Larger insights and evolutions can emerge slowly in a complex society, but come they must. We will continue to advocate an advancing and unequivocal awareness of safety and equity for those who live out their sexual identity in non-“traditional” ways.
We grieve the regressive legislation that unfolded recently in California, where the hard-won freedom to marry was actually withdrawn from an entire class of people (by Proposition 8).
Furthermore, in the afterglow of another Valentine’s Day and as a demonstration of our support for those among us who cannot yet legally honor their committed relationships, we hereby offer to officiate for no fee at religious ceremonies of union for same-sex couples of Bainbridge Island or North Kitsap.
This offer will continue until we celebrate Washington joining other states in fully affirming that marriage is a civil right available to all loving couples.
Let that important insight and evolution carry the day soon.
The Revs. Barbara W. ten Hove and Jaco B. ten Hove are a clergy couple since their marriage in 1990. They serve as co-ministers of Cedars Unitarian Universalist Church (www.cedarsuuchurch.org), which meets at 10 a.m. Sundays at The Island School, 8553 NE Day Road.
