911 is the number you call when you discover your house was burglarized or a grease fire has broken out in the kitchen but not to ask about how to cook a turkey.

Kitsap 911 dispatchers handled nearly 185,000 calls last year. Many dealt with medical emergencies, people reporting criminal activity or car accidents. The vast majority involved serious situations, but some were comical or downright quirky, said Brandy D’Intinosanto, public safety communications supervisor at Kitsap911.

Here are a few:

– A motorist traveling in South Kitsap contacted 911 about a possible DUI driver who was swerving and making fast turns. Seconds later, the same 911 dispatcher took a call from a concerned woman who said someone was following her and despite making several abrupt turns she was unable to lose the pursuer. After the dispatcher compared vehicle descriptions, it became clear the two drivers were calling in about each other.

– Upon hearing suspicious noises, a homeowner called to report a burglary. Upon investigation, it turned out the masked intruder was a raccoon.

– Due to a bad phone connection, the dispatcher thought a caller requested an ambulance for a child. The responding aid crew discovered the call was not about a kid but instead a horse. It’s no surprise but the aid crew was not able to provide much help.

– One caller was upset that creditors kept calling him. He wanted 911 to get them to stop.

– An ungrateful bird led to one call. In the early morning hours, a man was taking an injured bird he found to the animal shelter. During the drive, the bird woke up and started pecking the good Samaritan, causing him to crash on the train tracks in west Bremerton. The man thought a train was approaching so he called 911 to stop the locomotive. Fortunately, railroad officials said no train was coming. No word on what happened to the bird.

– A gentleman called from the Kitsap Mall parking lot to report his car was stolen. While providing dispatch a description of the vehicle, the man stopped mid-sentence. He suddenly remembered he actually drove his wife’s car to the mall.

– One guy was resetting the clocks in his house dialed 911 to ask, “What time is it?”

– Calls about animal issues are typical. A common one involves a homeowner reporting the neighbor’s pooch pooped in their yard and wants something done about it.

– Around the holidays, 911 gets a number of calls regarding turkey. People ask, “How long do we cook the bird?” Such calls are frequent enough that dispatchers keep the information number for Butterball turkeys close by.

Not all of the calls were appropriate for 911, and those can have consequences, D’Intinosanto said.

“It takes time to process them. That’s the big concern. And they could take away time from a call coming in that is a true emergency – chest pain or someone who needs CPR instruction.”

Some ill-considered 911 calls come with the territory when an agency is dealing with hundreds of thousands of calls. Apart from some unnecessary inquiries, Kitsap 911 receives a wide variety of conventional calls.

“About every other call is an aid call – someone having a heart attack or having difficulty breathing,” D’Intinosanto said. “Then, you might get a call from someone reporting their car was stolen or a person having a dispute with their neighbor. Next, could be a call about a motor vehicle collision with injuries.”

Ways to reach 911

With its high call volume, the 911 system has developed a number of ways to be contacted.

Online reporting is available when the crime has already taken place, there is no known suspect, and no need for immediate police action. “Say you wake up in the morning and your mailbox has been damaged or someone broke into your vehicle overnight and took your stereo,” D’Intinosanto offered as times to make an online report at kitsap911.org.

Texting 911 is another option. “‘Call if you can. Text if you can’t,’ is what we say,” she said.

Initially started to enable those who are deaf and hard of hearing to communicate with 911, texting has proved to be effective in situations where a person is under duress.

“This would be where in the middle of the night someone is breaking into the house and a person ducked into a closet and is hiding from whoever is in their house. They can text 911 and give us the information about what’s going on. Another good example would be in a domestic violence situation where they are not able to speak freely. They can text instead of calling,” she said.

Dispatchers

Before 911 dispatchers are ready to take on a barrage of unanticipated calls they undergo months of training in the classroom and alongside a trainer who helps them navigate emergency calls.

“We look for those with life skills that deal with resiliency and problem-solving skills,” D’Intinosanto said of new hires. Often dispatchers come from jobs where they had to make decisions without a lot of oversight. “They quickly realize, ‘I can’t really pause this life-threatening emergency to check with my supervisor.’”

Good candidates for the high-pressure position often come from hectic jobs – like restaurants workers, teachers and even bartenders, she explained.

“If you think about a bartender doing a busy shift at the bar. You have a lot of stuff going on at once. You have to make quick judgments and prioritize your workload. The skills of prioritizing and troubleshooting work well in this environment. Being a teacher, there’s a lot of potential chaos in the classroom. You have to manage and prioritize what you are paying attention to. Those skills help them with processing 911 calls,” D’Intinosanto said.

Job satisfaction

Being a 911 dispatcher can be nerve-wracking when seconds matter to an injured motorist or someone suffering a medical emergency. Every once in a while, the job can raise a smile. Through it all, the work is satisfying, she said.

“It’s just amazing to be able to help someone when they are in a true emergency – someone is breaking into the house, or someone is having to give CPR to a loved one. We are that calm voice that helps them through that emergency until first responders arrive. It’s amazing how that feels when we are done with that call.”

WHEN TO CALL 911

•Crimes in progress

•Life threatening situations

•Fires

•Motor vehicle accidents with personal injury or major damage

•Injuries requiring emergency medical attention

•Mental or physical illness requiring emergency medical response

•Hazardous chemical spills

•Smoke detector or carbon monoxide detectors sounding

•Smoke in a building

•Suspicious activity

•Natural gas leaks

•Dangerous / Threatening Animals