An increasing number of businesses seem to be hitting up customers for tips – at the expresso stand, when grabbing take-out and even the local minimart where the clerk did nothing but ring up a purchase.

Places are not subtle about soliciting tips either. They turn a computer screen toward you that prominently lists tip amounts – most over the once-routine 15% mark – all while the employee peers at you.

Tip fatigue has set in with many around Kitsap County as the proliferation of tip requests grows, some shoppers at malls in Silverdale and Port Orchard said.

“In the past year, tipping has become a lot more prevalent with all businesses it seems like. It’s everywhere. It’s annoying. Suddenly, there is an expectation that just because you walk into a place, we have to tip somebody for just ringing us up,” Matt Thorton of Port Orchard said.

Kevin MacDonald of Belfair huffed: “I’ve noticed bills at some restaurants suggest tipping options. I don’t like that. It’s them telling me that I need to tip, like a tip is required. Anytime they put that on the bill I say to myself, ‘Well, I don’t need to come back here.’ If I want to tip that’s totally up to me, and it depends on the service obviously.” The trend of listing tip amounts on the bill has resulted in MacDonald tipping less, he added.

“I think more places think tipping is mandatory even if the service is crap. They still want you to tip. I don’t go for that,” complained Lee Smalley of Seabeck. His wife, Milly, quickly added, “If the service is good and people are courteous and doing their job, I am more than happy to give an adequate tip.”

Being confronted with a computer screen at the cash register that outlines tip amounts bugs Lee. How he reacts to that technique of soliciting gratuities depends on his mood, “If I’m ornery or they are being kind of snotty I’ll hit “O.” If I’m in a good mood, I’ll tip them.”

But some people appreciate when an establishment outlines tip amounts. Lauren Hart of Bremerton, who grew up helping at the family’s steakhouse, is grateful when a bill lists tip percentages. “To me, it’s easier. It’s nice to check a box and run. That’s not offensive. (Restaurant workers) deserve tips. It’s hard work. You are running around all of the time. There is no sitting down. There are no breaks. They deserve that extra couple of bucks. Most make minimum wage anyway,” Hart said.

Tipping for take-out is a pet peeve of some. “A tip to me is when you did something exceptional. Now, I walk into a business to pick up food – you did what you should do which is prepare the food – but you didn’t serve me. You didn’t do anything beyond putting it in a bag. At that point, why should I feel obligated to give you more money,” Jason Wheat of Port Orchard said.

Some restaurants elsewhere are automatically tacking on a tip—a practice Wheat hopes never comes to Kitsap County. “A lot of restaurants in Seattle or Tacoma put on a mandatory gratuity. A gratuity is just that, it’s for my gratitude for what type of job you did. If it’s mandatory, it’s no longer a gratuity, it’s just an upcharge. I don’t agree with that,” he said.

A lot of restaurant owners have invested in hand-held electronic devices that the waiter can bring to the table to swipe a credit card and settle the bill. Most inevitably get around to suggesting gratuities.

Justin Dame of Seabeck appreciates those devices. “Sometimes when you are ready to pay, your waitress is nowhere to be found. I do like the convenience of when I’m ready for my check, they hand me the device and you take care of it right there,” Dame said. While it is awkward having the waiter who served him stand nearby when deciding on the tip, Dame said that does not impact his decision. “If they didn’t do a good job – even if they are standing right there – I’m not going to give them twenty percent.”

Justin’s wife, Chelsea, said she feels put on the spot to decide on an appropriate tip. “I like the old-school way when the waiter leaves the receipt and walks away. Then you can discuss with your spouse or whoever, ‘Hey what should we tip?’”

That more types of businesses are now seeking tips from customers is not a welcomed development to everyone. Justin Dame was surprised a sandwich shop hit him up for a tip. MacDonald also complained of a small corner store sought a tip. “Well, I don’t tip at a little market. The prices are so high anyway, why would I tip,” he said.

Nationally, two-thirds of Americans have a negative view of tipping, according to a survey conducted by Bankrate, a consumer finance company. Nearly one-third of customers feel tipping is out of control. The same percentage also are displeased with being confronted with tip suggestions on touch screens. The survey says that 65% of U.S. adults report they always tip their server. In 2022, that figure was 73%, compared to 75% in 2021 and 77% in 2019. 40% of those surveyed felt restaurant owners should pay better wages so employees can rely less on tips. In other countries, tipping is actually discouraged in Japan and China and is uncommon in Australia and New Zealand. But in France, restaurants often add the tip to the bill.

Etiquette adviser

Arden Clise helps people navigate the complexities of tipping. She owns Clise Etiquette, a Seattle business that provides etiquette training. “I think there is a lot of confusion and a sense of guilt, like should I tip? A lot of people are not happy about this because it is so unclear and so prevalent. We are being asked to tip everywhere now. People are kind of sick of it,” Clise said.

The “new reality” of tipping primarily arose during the COVID-19 pandemic, she said. For restaurants to survive, employees had to go to work while many sheltered at home. Customers wanted to show appreciation to workers for serving them during the shutdown. After the pandemic subsided, expectations that customers tip remained and expanded, she said. “Suddenly we were seeing (tip requests) in places we had never considered tipping before. It sets up this sense of obligation and embarrassment if we choose not to tip.”

She then gave some tips about tipping. “First off, ask yourself, ‘Is this person a low-wage employee?’ Are they someone who is dependent on tips, like at restaurants and service people like ride-share drivers? The individuals who are dependent on tips for making an actual living are the ones that we really need to think about giving a tip to.”

It’s also good to tip those who deserve it. “How much effort is going into what the person is doing for you? If the order is complicated, then you want to consider tipping more. For instance, if you go to a coffee shop and you’ve ordered drinks for the office, and there’s one with low-fat and no this or no that, and another order involves adding this and removing that. That is making the barista really have to do a lot more work. Then you want to tip more because you are asking more of them.”

But tipping is not always necessary. “If the person you are interacting with is basically just taking your money and not doing anything and the person is making a livable wage then tipping is not really required,” Clise said.

The etiquette adviser acknowledged some people dread the situation at the cash register when the computer screen swings their way and the decision to tip has to be made with the server right in front of them. “The bottom-line is, whether the person is looking at you or not, you get to decide how much you are going to tip.”

To ease the pressure of having to deal with tipping via electronic technology, Clise suggests people plan ahead. “It can be helpful to think about what you want to tip before you are given the hand-held terminal. That way you are not staring at those numbers thinking, ‘Oh no, she or he is watching me? What do I do?’ Determine how much you want to tip and then just tip the amount you are comfortable with and not worry about it.”