Donald Trump is a lousy teleprompter reader.

His fake crisis speech from the Oval Office was clearly the product of his handlers telling him in no uncertain terms, “Read it. Do not say anything else. Just read what we’ve written for you to say. Period. Not. Another. Syllable. Or you die on the vine.”

Dave Barry used to make fun of Al Gore for being so wooden in his speeches as Clinton’s VP.

Barry was funny; he referred to beavers chewing on Gore’s leg while Clinton apologized to the nation for something — military mishaps in Serbia, sleeping with random women — and Gore would stand there dutifully, imitating an aspen tree, the favorite of beavers everywhere.

If Gore was wooden, Trump was petrified and putrified. He had zero idea what he was saying, mouthing words, faking expressions, emphasizing incorrect syllables, and looking pinched and pained that he was being controlled. I can see him ripping off the leash instantly afterwards.

“We control you or you cease to be president.” That must have been the message from Stephen Miller, his eloquently lying Officer of Disinformation, a staffer minimally nine times smarter than Trump but equally amoral.

Trump told us, astonishingly, that the Wall would be paid for three times, never by the American people.

Once, as he promised relentlessly and re-re-repeatedly in his campaign promises, by Mexico.

Two, incredibly in his speech, by “itself.” Um…ok.

Three — what will we do with all this extra money? — “indirectly,” by his new NAFTA 2.0 deal. Yeah. That mechanism was explained clearly by No One, Ever. That is classic gaslighting. Fake news. Lying. That. Will. Never. Happen.

You will pay for it, assuming you are an American taxpayer. None of his lies were anything but. Not Mexico. Not “itself.” Not “indirectly.” Bullpucky.

Pelosi was OK. She stated truthfully that Congress passed a bipartisan bill to reopen the government.

But Schumer was more succinct: “We don’t govern by temper tantrum.”

The new Congress has adaptively and rightly separated the Trump Great Wall debate from the ongoing functioning of the U.S. government. It is up to the Senate to pass it and Trump to sign it.

Step up, Republican Senators. Especially Cory Gardner (CO), Susan Collins (ME), Joni Ernst (IA), Shelly Moore Capito (WV), Thom Tillis (NC), and Lindsay Graham (SC). You believe you are safe? You can screw the American people with your business as usual? We shall see. You are all up for office again in 2020 and you have supported the stupidest Trump-for-ignorance, Trump versus the American people, Trump-corrupt measures, legislation, and nominations. You believe we’ll forget and vote you back in.

I wonder. What are the American people made of? Time will tell.

Dr. Tom H. Hastings is PeaceVoice Director and on occasion an expert witness for the defense in court.