There was a time when finding a new friend was as simple as someone running up to us, exclaiming loudly, “Wanna play?” And, just like that, a friendship was formed. Between the lack of responsibility, inhibition and judgment, it seemed little advice was needed for making friends. But that carefree approach begins to shift around age 6 when we develop greater levels of social and emotional awareness, contributing significantly to the difficulty of making friends.

Those who are lucky enough to maintain their early-year playground friends into their later years are at an advantage, as they go through developmental stages with peers who add a sense of security and stability. For those who moved frequently or never had the opportunity to build those early attachments, gaining comfort with forming new friendships can feel like an insurmountable obstacle.

If your child is struggling with making friends, it is important to identify their specific challenges. Are they more concerned with academic standing or athletic success, viewing socializing as less important? Do they have a negative self-image and doubt others’ ability to enjoy their company? Perhaps they experience difficulties with communication, concentration or picking up social cues. The better you and your child understand what barriers may be impacting their desire to find friends, the more approachable working toward that goal may be.

Kids who are impulsive and hyperactive may have more difficulties sharing or managing “big” emotions as they arise. Alternatively, those who take longer to warm up to social situations may feel overshadowed by those around them, finding it difficult to speak up about their ideas and interests.

For those and other challenges, dedicating time at home to build stronger social skills can be an excellent place to start. Just as you may help your child practice pitching, batting or fielding skills to make a baseball team, by targeting specific social fundamentals, you not only help strengthen those important qualities but also normalize that they are skills that can be honed and developed with practice.

Social skills to strengthen

Developing empathy: Encourage empathy by asking reflective questions such as, “Do you think they had a fun time playing too?” and following their response with, “What makes you say that?”

Emotional regulation: Help your child talk through difficult emotions and find reliable outlets for them.

Strengthening communication: Practice sharing interests and active listening to help your child gain comfort in conversations.

Embracing the uncomfortable: Teach your child to apologize with authenticity and forgive with compassion. Social connections can be complicated, and the ability to handle conflict can lead to stronger friendships.

Be realistic

Building stronger social skills can make the often-intimidating process of making and maintaining friends easier. However, it is important to set realistic expectations for both your child and yourself regarding what an active social life entails. It can be easy to fall into a comparison mindset when considering the ideal quality and quantity of friends. Just as it is important to consider the specific barriers that may hinder your child’s desire to create friendships, it is equally important to factor in their personality and preferences.

While some kids may exemplify the term social butterfly, others are perfectly content with one or two close pals. Many times, these differing individuals even end up being siblings. The more that you as their parents work to normalize and validate these alternative paths toward social connection (both for them and yourself), the easier it will be for your children to understand and appreciate their unique approach to life. That often leads to more confidence and a greater ability to step out of their comfort zone when the need arises.

Chase Myers is a therapist for Bainbridge Youth Services, which has a monthly column in this newspaper.