A teen is on a family trip, but anxiety over missing tests and school work takes the fun out of the daily excursions.
Another student worries he won’t make the baseball team.
And another feels her friends aren’t listening to her and don’t understand her problems.
With the school year in full swing, these issues and more are common occurrences for many teens. They are busy maintaining homework, participating in school and sports activities, and engaging in new and old friendships. Even though this can bring excitement, it also can — and most likely will — create anxiety and stress. It’s important to remember that youth might not have much experience coping with anxiety and stress and to be aware when unhealthy habits are created to reduce symptoms.
Adolescence is a period of intense emotional and intellectual growth for our teens. It’s when they start to feel symptoms of stress, anxiety and learning how to cope. It’s important for parents to understand our kids will experience stress as they navigate high school and middle school. But there are tools for parents to help teens and tweens through stressful situations, encourage growth and adopt healthy coping skills.
Bainbridge Youth Services, for example, is offering a special screening of the documentary, “Angst: Raising Awareness Around Anxiety,” March 15 at Bainbridge Cinemas at the Pavilion.
IndieFlix, a leading independent online streaming platform, along with its nonprofit arm, the IndieFlix Foundation, is sparking a global conversation about anxiety through screenings of its new documentary. BYS is bringing the film to our community to open a dialogue between local families, community leaders and experts.
In addition, here are some ideas for parents to help facilitate healthy coping strategies when youth are stressed.
• Help them identify the stressor. Giving youth an opportunity to discuss what might be overwhelming them can empower them to take ownership on how to change the behavior. For example, if your kids are feeling stressed, you can explore ideas of what stressors are present and what choices they have in the situation. This can help youth feel they have the opportunity to explore solutions and gives them tools to learn how to make decisions in the future. The key is to be the sounding board, but not give advice. If you feel this is not a role for you, suggest they see a counselor or talk to a trusted family friend.
• Sleep is one of the best cures for reducing stress and one the major factors of stress. Check in with your youth about the amount of sleep needed and what needs to be in place for them to get sleep. There may be activities that can be canceled or rescheduled to accommodate their sleep schedule. As a parent, it is important to ask your youth how they would like to be supported.
• A common stressor is the feeling of not being able to get everything done or too much is on their plate. As a parent, our role is to focus on their strengths and advocate the importance of doing activities they enjoy and are strong in. For example, stress can build up if your teen really enjoys playing guitar but neglects playing because he or she has been focusing too much on school. Advocating to them the importance of guitar playing or other activities can help put things in perspective for your youth and decrease stress.
• Schedule fun! Think of family activities that will bring fun into the schedule. It does not have to be long; but maybe an hour or so during the week to mix things up. Let them know you support them and remind them that life is meant to be enjoyed.
• Encourage physical activity. It doesn’t have to be a scheduled team sport but having time to move around will decrease stress. Engaging in walks with them can not only help reduce stress but gives you an opportunity to have one-on-one time with them.
• One of the biggest ways parents can help youth’s stress is to model your own coping skills. All of us experience stress and anxiety at times. When feeling stressed, parents have the opportunity to articulate to their kids the conscious decisions they are making to cope with stress in a healthy way. Modeling positive coping skills is crucial when raising a family. Kids learn from their parents. Identify your own hiccups with dealing with stress and share them with your family. Then everyone can help when situations come up.
• If stress is becoming a bigger issue, talk to your youth about counseling how they could benefit from additional support. Counselors can provide techniques to reduce stress and help gain a different perspective.
Courtney Oliver is director of clinical services for Bainbridge Youth Services.