Sometimes stress is an uninvited guest during the holiday season.

For parents, often an array of extra demands are added to already busy schedules. When parents are stressed, it can lead to a feeling of tension in the home that negatively impacts our kids, adding to our kids’ stress and anxiety.

So what can a parent do to help themselves and their family deal with stress during the holidays? On an airplane the flight attendant tells us to “put on your own oxygen mask first.” This fitting metaphor reminds us that if we run out of oxygen or deplete ourselves by attending to everyone else’s needs but our own, we can’t help anyone else.

To help our kids, we need to take care of ourselves first so we have the bandwidth to attend to others. This is an opportunity to model for our kids how to manage stress, which is an inevitable part of life.

Below are some practical tips from a stress management expert, Dr. Mary Dean with ways to cope with stress over the holiday season and beyond.

Stress Reduction Tips

TAKE A DEEP BREATH!

Take time to breathe — it will help relax your body. We often breathe shallowly when we are undergoing a stress response. This in turn just causes more stress. Next time you feel uptight take a minute to slow down and breathe deeply. Take in a deep breath, enough so that your lower abdomen rises and falls. Try counting to four on the inhale, hold the breath for a count of four, and then exhale to a count of four. It is calming to breathe deeply.

THINK YOU’RE NOCTURNAL?

More than 60 percent of the American public experience some nights when sleep escapes. Not only is being sleep deprived dangerous for driving, there is also an association with various medical conditions. The body/mind uses sleep to repair and replace cells.

You can improve sleep habits. Start a sleep routine that begins with slowing down early in the evening. Don’t drink caffeine within six hours of bedtime. Don’t watch the 11 o’clock news. Spend some time relaxing in the hot tub or take a warm bath.

When you get into bed, don’t turn on the television. Instead, turn on the calming part of your nervous system by lying quietly and paying attention to your breathing. Take a slow deep breath or two and repeat the exercise several times in succession. Once you regularly invite your body to relax you may easily fall to sleep.

THOUGHTS SWIRLING OUT OF CONTROL?

Are you busy asking yourself “What if”? Worry is the misuse of the imagination, and nine out of 10 things we worry about never happen. All that worry and anxiety just make our hearts race, increase our blood pressure and serve no useful purpose.

If you feel yourself giving in to anxiety, ask yourself, “Is this thought helping me?”

Here is a simple exercise that is very useful:

STOP the negative thinking before it creates a worst possible scenario.

BREATHE slowly and deeply. Concentrate on your breathing and allow yourself to become distracted.

REFLECT on the situation and ask yourself, “Does this thought serve me well?”

CHOOSE a positive response and act instead of reacting.

TRAPPED BY YOUR ARM CHAIR?

Physical activity plays a key role in reducing daily stress. Many American’s are sedentary and only 25 percent of us exercise on a regular basis. The body needs to move, needs to stretch muscles. When you feel upset or anxious, release the pressure by getting physical.

Find an activity you enjoy and make regular time for it. Spend 30 to 40 minutes a day for five times per week. It will help drain the stress and energize you. Walking, swimming, dancing, working in the garden or playing with your dog are great suggestions. The most useful exercise is the one you will enjoy doing.

FEEDING STRESS?

Even the foods we eat can increase our stress load. Too much sugar, too much caffeine, not enough fruits and vegetables. Failing to eat regular meals and snacking on fast/fat treats. Foods have an influence on our moods and we behave as if we didn’t know that. Daily, Americans grow fatter and it causes us to worry. What is wrong with this picture?

Great help is readily at hand. You can log on to the U.S. government web site and obtain a nutrition plan just right for you. Log on to mypyramid.gov for a personalized nutrition plan.

You can also begin to reduce the caffeine, sugar and excess fat in your diet. What is more, you can slow down and taste the food you consume.

Mary Dean, PhD, R.N., is a health psychologist and an expert in stress management.